Off to Bulawayo (continued)

It must have been a special night, or else it may have been the build up of a 'brand new band from South Africa'; whatever it was, the place was packed.
We decided to start with one of the pieces featuring the fiddle (violin).
Some folks call it a violin, others call it a fiddle.
Many people have asked me what is the difference between a Violin and a Fiddle and I tell them it's the spelling...
After we'd finished our first number, (which received polite response), Bobby says to me 'right, stop showing off with the violin and play something they can dance to'
It was then that I realized we were in the wrong venue and were possibly Not the Trio to end all Trios.
The Bulawayo audience were looking for the current Hit Parade songs which we were certainly not playing. This was a typical example of the music agents placing the bands / artists in the wrong venues, and when you were in the "wrong" venue, you were forced to change your repertoire to suit the audience, or else you lost the gig.
Back home, in South Africa if that happened, it wouldn't be so bad because at least you may be able to find Plan B, but stuck in another country, it was a different scenario.

At this particular gig there was a guitarist, Alex, who had been part of a band that had played there a while before. I never managed to establish how long before, but it seemed as though it had been quite some time.
When the band were due to leave, this particular Alex was unable to go with them because his Passport had expired (also British), and he was unable to leave the country.
He therefore became the 'resident guitarist' at 'Las Vegas Club'. A brilliant Jazz guitarist with a knowledge of every jazz chord in the book and possibly a few more.
The "Trio" to end all Trios had now become a four piece, whether we liked it or not, with a jazz guitarist adding fourteen chords to every bar where there should only be two!

We learned a few 'Hit Parade' songs to keep Bobby and the patrons happy, but we were rather disillusioned about our musical careers.
The next addition to the Trio to end all Trios, was the arrival of the 'Cabaret Artist' and his wife.
He was a singer of dubious descent and his 'wife' was a stripper.
Bobby informed us that this was the new resident 'Entertainments Manager' and would become part of the band.
We were now a five piece Trio to end all Trios!

The 'Entertainments Manager' was insanely jealous of his 'wife', and when she was performing her dance, he was always waiting off stage to see if everything was going smoothly.
Apart from her two main assets that had been endorsed by the Silicone industry, (I'd never seen boobs that refused to move), she also had a pet python.
The python would slither and slide and entwine itself all over her almost naked body much to the delight of the male audiences.   
The ladies were allowed in to the club after the Strip Show.

One particular weekend the club was full of army guys who had been in the bush for maybe three months. This time of course was during the war, and these guys would come to the various clubs and drink like there was no tomorrow.
So here we are doing our gig and you could feel the tension in the air as though some thing was about to happen, but you didn't know what.
The stripper started her act and halfway through, one of the army guys grabbed one of her non moveable boobs. She slapped him across the face, he tried to slap her back, someone else climbed into him and then the 'Entertainments Manager' got stuck in to these guys.
Next thing we know, Bobby is in amongst this fight which had just erupted. Everyone was fighting with anyone - it was like a Wild West Movie except this was for real. The Rhodesian Police arrived and eventually things returned to 'normal'.
We had been instructed to carry on playing regardless of what was happening!
I was really glad I had the Hammond between me and the crowd.
The next morning we saw Bobby. He was wearing sunglasses in the nightclub. In my naivete I thought why is he wearing really dark glasses inside the club? - He had two black eyes from the previous night's rumpus!

We endured a number of Cabaret acts at that gig. Towards the end of our three month stay this pompous twit Jeff arrived for his two week stint.
Completely full of himself, thought he was the real deal and to top it all, thought the ladies loved him.
He treated the band like dirt, trying to put us down in front of the crowd.
On his last night's performance I thought to myself 'right, now it's our turn'.
His finale number was a song that began with a piano introduction. I didn't tell Anton or Alex, but I started the song in a higher key than it was meant to be. I knew that in the original key he could only just reach the top notes, so with this 'new' key, he would be finished.
I'm playing away and he starts singing and he knew something wasn't right because he turned around and glared at me. I just smiled back and carried on playing. He gets to the high part and I thought he was going to rupture himself.
At that point in the song the rest of the band came in - in the other key.
I can still see Anton's face as he realized what I'd done to this poor fool - the whole band fell apart, the audience were in hysterics and the 'artist' looked like he wanted to kill me!
He left the next day, not so full of himself.

Around the corner from Las Vegas Club was the best burger joint ever. Owned by some Greek guy who it appeared never slept because almost any time of the day or night you could get one of his amazing burgers.

At that stage of events in Rhodesia, it was recommended that anyone traveling from Bulawayo, or anywhere for that matter, to the border, should do so in convoy with an army escort. This was due to an ever increasing amount of terrorist attacks on civilians.
During our three month stay in Bulawayo, Gary had, amongst other interests, been fine tuning and modifying his Datsun 120Y.
He'd had enough of the gig, was missing Cape Town and basically wanted to get out of there as soon as he could.
So when we were due to leave he said he's not driving with any convoy, he's going alone. I was keen to get back to Johannesburg to start organizing the next stage of my career, so Gary and I drove from Bulawayo to Beitbridge at approximately 170kph all the way!
All those fine tunings paid off I tell you.
By the time we had crossed back into South Africa it was night time and there we were hurtling towards Johannesburg.
I told him that there was no need to go that fast any more, as we had left the terrorists way behind in Rhodesia.
Gary liked to drive fast.
It must have been close to midnight and we were thundering along when I saw in the distance a black shape in the middle of the road.
Slow down Gary, I said, there's something up ahead.
Luckily he listened and when we came to a stop there was this enormous black bull standing sideways in the road. We would have been wiped out instantly.
After that, the drive to Johannesburg was somewhat more sedate...

The gear eventually arrived back safely, Anton was back, Gary decided he was quitting the band;
and the "Trio" to end all Trios had unfortunately met its end.